They don't like me because I'm not like the others. I have no "cushion." I'm different.

I'm Jealous of the Rogue Planets

"When I was a kid I used to count backwards from ten..."

I'm jealous of the way her childhood appeared to be. 

I wish that's what I could have done as a kid, what I could have worried about,,

what I could have had on my young mind.

Simply counting down from ten.

"I think of you at ten; the first time I saw you. Your smile at nine and how it lit something up inside me I had thought long dead; your lips at eight pressed against mine and at seven, your warm breath in my ear and your hands everywhere. You tell me you love me at six and at five we have our first fight. At four we have our second and three our third. At two you tell me you cant go on like this any longer and then at one, you ask me to stay."

I'm jealous of the whole thing because when I count backwards from ten it goes like this.

I think of you at ten; the first time I fell into your trap.  

Your lying eyes at nine and how they pulled me into something dark I never thought was there.

Your poisonous lips at eight, whispering dark secrets into my ears and at seven,

your hands pulling me in every direction, never letting me go.

You tell me you will love me at six and at five you prove yourself wrong.

At four we have our fourteenth fight and at three you convince me to stay.

At two I finally see the liar you are and I tell you I can't go on any longer

and then at one, you walk away like it was nothing.

I know this whole thing was probably a silly way to show how i'm jealous of this poem

But things seem to have ended much better for Lang Leav than they did for me.

Naptime

I just laid in bed,

cuddled up with my best friend,

and let the whole world pass me by for a couple hours.

It was nice and definitely something I needed. 

Naps are good. 

I just hope I can get to sleep tonight. 

Man in the Moon

I wonder if the Man in the Moon is like me, or the other way around.

Does he feel like I do? 

Does the Man way up in the sky have a soul mate?

Do I even have a soul mate? 

There are so many questions i'd like to ask him,

if I could.

I wonder if he can feel pain.

I wonder if, when the astronauts landed on his surface, it hurt him just a little.

I bet he tried to tell them that he didn't appreciate them standing on his face,

but they couldn't hear him.

How could they have known? 

He's just the "Man in the Moon." 

I wonder if he gets angry.

Does he express his frustration to the stars?

Or does he bottle it all up inside, 

like I do? 

I get the feeling that the Man in the Moon and I are more alike than we think.

I know this sounds strange, but it is often on my mind.

I think we all have a little piece of the Man in the Moon inside of us.

He feels, like we do.

He hurts, just like all of us.

He has outbursts of sudden anger, just like you and I.

He's no different than we are.

Think about it.

March Madness Mash-up. 2014

I shall be telling this with a sigh,

Just like moons and like suns.

My bones said, "Write the Poems."

It seems only yesterday I used to believe

What he feels for me.

And you were probably

The best reason I ever heard,

I want it to confirm.

I used to say,

"Do not go gentle into that good night",

And we were lost for ages.

When youth and blood were warmer;

the sky of the sky of a tree called life grew higher than the soul could hope

or the mind could hide,

And we would write letters to the ones we loved.

For everything that's lovely is

twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

to strike straight.

But I like it because it is bitter, 

because it would frighten you, 

hopelessly.

To think that all this time,

the loud voice is famous to silence,

that having once been told, we played along.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

WHEN I was one-and-twenty

my heart broke loose on the wind,

because I wanted so badly to return the favour,

and I didn't even learn to love.

Proving nature's laws wrong, 

we shall WALK with a WALK that is measured and slow,

realizing we had never actually been rescued.

But that's not all-

We wanted to GET OUT.

But we miss it every time.

And I am so relieved, so relieved- and a little disappointed.

Now, there is a pretty girl, 

lost out in the woods.

It was not always this way,

for bravery runs in MY family.

And so when your heart begins to beat,

stand still, yet we will make him run.

-I am nobody! Who are you?

-I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.

And tonight is filled with rage,

it's too late,

"They won't last,"

With a heart made from the neck of a giraffe because

I want my love to be long 

long

long

long.

I remember.

I felt the life sliding out of me,

like a heavy load, 

drugged perhaps by the hum of a long afternoon.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

I've never really stayed in one place,

for life's not a paragraph

and death I think is no parenthesis.

And my soul keeps trying, trying

to be STRONG like that.

Like you.

And you fit into me

like a hook into an eye.

Space Camp Rough Draft

I never wanted to be an Astronaut, not once did I dream of being a Dentist. I never dreamt of being a Ballerina or a Singer, a Composer, a Teacher, a Dealer. No, I always dreamt of being something more.  Something bigger than what everyone else wanted as a child.. 

I didn't want to be the same as the other kids. The kids who played dress up and went Trick or Treating as a Princess or a Fireman because that's what they "wanted to be when they grew up." But it was really because that's what their parents picked out for them, because their friends thought it was "cool" and they should all be Princesses and Firemen. 

But now the girls go together as a big group of Lifeguards with shorts that are too short and the guys dress up as the Football Players they already are. They go with the crowd, they don't know what they want. They do what makes them "cool". 
Well, I know what I want.

 I've always known what I want, unlike any of you other high school kids. To the kids who have doubted me and my ability to succeed with what I want to be in life, just you wait and see. This is my space camp and I run the show. 

Your name looks like Jack Johnson

Everybody always tells me how much they love Jack Johnson

and it gets boring after a while.

Because I loved Jack Johnson, once upon a time.

Nobody loved Jack as much as I did, that's the truth.

I loved you.

I loved the way you would play Jack's songs in the car like they were your own, 

and I would always dream of making Banana Pancakes with you one day.

Because it was always rainy and there was never a need to go outside.

I loved you.

I still remember the day we met, sometime during your last year of High School.

And even though it wasn't anytime in early September,

it felt like it with you. 

You were my Jack Johnson.

I loved you.

I thought love was the answer for all of the questions in my heart,

but life happened and now we're here.

You're somebody else's Jack Johnson and i'm somebody's nobody.

I'm just glad that it's all understood.

I'll always love you, bud.

This one goes out to my best friend. You know who you are.

-Ruby